What does a good mature dating profile say?
A good mature dating profile has a clear, recent photo, a few lines in your own voice and a plain word about what you’re hoping to find. Below are eight examples we wrote for you to borrow from, then the photos, first messages and slip-ups that matter.
None of it needs to be clever. Most of us read a profile to answer one simple question: would this person be good company? On Sage Dating you add photos, write a few lines about yourself and say what you’re looking for, and our features page shows how the rest works.
How do you write a mature dating profile?
Take it in four small steps.
- Choose your photos first. Pick three or four before you write a word. They show people what you look like, so your words can show them who you are.
- Open with something only you’d say. “I’m easy-going” could be anybody. “I’m a decent cook and a hopeless map reader” could only be you. Start from the second kind of sentence.
- Add two or three things you actually do. Think of what is in your diary rather than on your wish list: the Thursday choir, the allotment, the caravan on the coast. Details like these give a reader something to ask about.
- Say what you’re hoping to find. Companionship, friendship and a long-term relationship are all good answers. Sage Dating’s daily match suggestions take in what people are looking for, so say it plainly.
Age UK’s advice on dating in later life says you might like to include a little about your hobbies and interests and what kind of relationship you’re looking for. That’s the shape of most of the examples below.
Then read yours aloud. If it sounds like you on a good day, it’s ready. If you trip over a phrase you’d never say, change it. Fifty to sixty words is plenty, and you can say more once a conversation has started.
Profile examples for women: warm, outdoorsy and ready for company
Here are three profiles for women. We wrote them ourselves as models, so none of them is a member of Sage Dating. Take the shape, swap in your own details and keep the voice that sounds like you.
- Example: warm and sociable
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“Forty-eight, a nurse on shifts, with a teenager who thinks I’m hilarious and a dog who agrees. I swim outdoors more often than I talk about it, I cook a big Sunday lunch for whoever turns up, and I’d like to meet someone kind who makes me laugh and has alternate weekends to spare.”
Why it works: it paints a picture of her week instead of listing adjectives, and the teenager and the dog show her humour without a single joke. A reader knows what to ask about: the shifts, the swimming, the Sunday lunch.
- Example: outdoorsy
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“Happiest in walking boots with a flask in my rucksack, whatever the weather. I’m halfway round the coast path and in no hurry to finish it. I’d like to meet someone with a steady pace, a sense of humour about wet socks and strong views on the pub at the end of the walk. Dogs welcome. Cake negotiable.”
Why it works: every line is something you can picture, and the last two keep it light. It also makes plain what she is after: a companion for the outdoors, with no pressure beyond a steady pace.
- Example: widowed and ready for company
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“Widowed, and ready for company again. I’d like to share a Sunday paper, a good meal and the odd daft laugh with someone kind who understands. I’m not looking to replace anyone, just to enjoy life again.”
Why it works: she says the hard thing once, in a single word, then turns to what she is looking forward to. Nobody has to guess or tiptoe, and the right reader will find it easy to reply.
Profile examples for men who would rather show than boast
Three profiles for men follow: one wry, one bookish and one from a man who is divorced and curious. They’re models we wrote, so change the details to your own.
- Example: wry
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“Sixty-four, recently retired and still working out what to do with my Tuesdays. I can mend a fuse, cook a proper breakfast and name every tree on the common. I’m after someone good-humoured who enjoys a long lunch and an argument about the crossword. I’ll make the tea. You choose the film.”
Why it works: the dry humour is aimed at himself, and the details are things you could ask about: fuses, breakfasts, trees. “I’ll make the tea” is a small offer that makes him sound easy to be with.
- Example: bookish
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“I read in the bath, I can’t walk past a second-hand bookshop and I’m happiest with a crossword and a large pot of tea. I’d like to meet someone who has opinions about novels, doesn’t mind a quiet evening and might fancy a literary festival. Tell me your favourite book and I’ll tell you mine.”
Why it works: it ends on an invitation, which makes a first message easy to write. A quiet evening here sounds like a pleasure rather than a compromise.
- Example: divorced and curious
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“Divorced, a little bruised and surprisingly happy. I’ve started cooking properly, I’m learning the guitar badly and I’m curious about most things. I’d like to meet someone to try new places with, from a market stall to a mountain path. Friendship first suits me fine. I’m in no hurry, and I listen well.”
Why it works: he is honest about the divorce in a handful of words, then looks straight ahead. “Friendship first” lets a reader know there’s no pressure.
Funny dating profile examples that still sound kind
Humour works when the joke is on you. These two are funny on purpose, and neither needs an ex, a stranger or somebody’s age as the punchline.
- Example: fluent in sarcasm
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“Fluent in sarcasm and Sunday roast. I can parallel park first time, find the biscuit tin in the dark and talk for an hour about nothing in particular. Seeking a co-driver for long drives, pub quizzes and the last roast potato, which I will, to be fair, try to steal. Must laugh at yourself, preferably before I do.”
Why it works: every joke is on the writer, and each one is a clue to what a date would be like: easy, greedy and fun.
- Example: can do, can’t do
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“Things I can do: change a plug, read a map, make a cheese on toast people write home about. Things I can’t: dance, whistle or lose at cards gracefully. I’m looking for someone who laughs easily, forgives the cards and fancies a Saturday wandering round a market town with a decent tea shop.”
Why it works: the two short lists are easy to read on a phone, and the ending is a plan somebody could say yes to.
Borrow the shape, not the words. Most of the eight follow one pattern: a line about the writer, two or three details, a plain word about what they want and a warm last line.
Which photos should you use?
Photos do most of the talking in the first few seconds, so choose them before you write a word.
| The photo | Why it helps |
|---|---|
| A clear picture of your face | People want to see who they’re talking to. Stand in daylight, facing the light, with nothing covering your eyes. |
| A recent one | The person who turns up should be the person in the picture. Choose something from the last year or two, with the hair and glasses you have now. |
| One where you are smiling | A smile says you’re friendly before you have typed a word. Think of someone you’re fond of, rather than saying “cheese”. |
| One doing something you love | It gives a reader something to ask about: the garden, the dog, the piano, the hill. |
| Sunglasses, once | A sunny holiday snap is fine. A whole profile in shades hides the thing people most want to see. |
| Group photos, later | Make your first picture just you, so nobody has to guess which one you are at your niece’s wedding. |
One practical note for later: before you send pictures to someone, the Suzy Lamplugh Trust advises turning off the geo-location tags on your phone.
How do you start the first message?
Aim for a message that’s easy to answer. One detail from their profile and one friendly question will do it.
Try one of these
- Pick up on a detail. “You said you’re halfway round the coast path. Which stretch has been your favourite so far?”
- Comment on something they posted. A reply to a status update or a photo is a gentle way in. “That vegetable patch looks magnificent. How did you keep the slugs off?”
- Ask for a recommendation. People enjoy being the expert. “You mentioned a favourite walk. Where would you send a first-timer?”
Skip these
- A bare “Hi” or “Hey”, which gives them nothing to answer.
- A compliment on looks alone. It’s kind, but the conversation has nowhere to go.
- Your whole life story before they have said a word.
- Questions about their ex.
- A message that could have gone to anybody.
On a Classic membership you can send a set number of messages a day, so it makes sense to spend your effort on one good message. And if nobody replies, don’t take it to heart. People are busy, or simply not on the site that day.
What to leave out, so your profile stays warm
Here are five habits to leave behind.
- A list of what you don’t want. “No drama, no games, no time-wasters” tells readers about your past, not your future. Say what you do want instead: someone who answers messages, likes a plan and makes you laugh.
- “I like everything.” It sounds friendly and says nothing. Pick two things and name them: cricket on the radio, bad puns in the car, the first frost on the allotment.
- Old photos. If the person at the door doesn’t match the picture, the date begins with a surprise nobody wanted. Use pictures from the last year or two, and swap them as the seasons change.
- The whole life story. Your divorce, your health, your ex: all of it can wait until you have met. One honest line, such as “divorced” or “widowed”, is plenty.
- Anything that identifies you. Surname, street, workplace, phone number, your grandchildren’s school. The Suzy Lamplugh Trust advises against giving your address, telephone number or workplace to people you don’t know online, and suggests a username that doesn’t reveal too much about you. Other members here see your username and nearest town, so keep the rest back until you know them.
Your years are good material
By now you know what you’re good at, what makes you laugh and what a good Saturday feels like. A profile is the place to let a little of that show.
Say your age plainly. Nobody on a mature dating site is surprised by it. Age UK describes online dating as now one of the most popular ways of meeting new people, so you’re in good company. Talk about what you do in the present tense: the allotment, the choir, the campervan, the cello you took up at fifty-eight.
Divorce and widowhood are common. At the 2021 census, the Office for National Statistics found that 12.2% of people aged 65 and over in England and Wales were divorced and 23.1% were widowed. So if you’re divorced, widowed or have never married, one honest line will do, and a reader who cares will ask for the rest when they’re ready to hear it. If you have lost a partner, Age UK reminds readers that feelings of grief are no less real if you decide you’d like a new relationship.
Children and grandchildren are lovely to mention, but leave their names, schools and photos out, for their privacy as much as yours.
Once your profile is up, the next step is meeting. Our first date ideas for mature singles are a gentle place to start, and where to meet mature singles in the UK covers the places and events that suit you away from the screen. Every guide we have written is gathered on our mature dating guides page.
Dating profile questions, answered
How long should a mature dating profile be?
Long enough to say something, short enough to read on a phone. Fifty to sixty words is about right: a line about you, two or three details and what you’re hoping to find. You can say more once a conversation is under way.
What should I write in a dating profile for over 50?
Start with something specific about your life, add two or three things you enjoy, and say what you’re hoping to find, whether that’s companionship, friendship or a long-term relationship. Keep the tone warm and a little playful.
Which photos should I use on a dating profile?
A clear, recent picture of your face in daylight, one where you’re smiling and one of you doing something you love. Three or four good photos are plenty. Keep sunglasses to a single shot, and make your first picture just you.
Is it all right to be funny in a dating profile?
Yes, as long as the joke is on you and not on an ex or on anyone’s age. One or two light touches show your personality. A profile that’s all jokes can leave a reader unsure what you’re looking for.
Should I say that I am divorced or widowed?
You can, in a single line. “Divorced and curious” or “widowed and ready for company” is honest and enough. The rest of the story can wait until you have met.
What should I leave out of my profile?
Your surname, address, workplace and phone number, a list of what you don’t want, and anything that names your children or grandchildren. Share more only when you choose to, once you know someone.
Ready to write yours?
Join Sage Dating, add a photo and a few honest lines, and see who says hello.
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