How can you tell it is a romance scam?
A romance scam is a relationship built on a false identity to get your money. The pattern is feelings that arrive very fast, a nudge to leave the dating site, excuses never to meet or appear on camera, and then a request for money, gift cards or cryptocurrency. If you have paid, ring your bank at once.
The trade body UK Finance defines a romance scam as one where the victim is persuaded to make a payment to a person they have met, often online through social media or dating websites, and with whom they believe they’re in a relationship. Age UK uses the word catfish for someone who sets up a fake online profile to trick people looking for love, usually to get money out of them.
The rest of this guide covers the 2025 figures, each warning sign in turn, the checks worth making and who to contact if it has happened to you. There’s no need to feel embarrassed reading any of it: these scams work by building trust over time, and that can happen to anyone. Official figures group people by age band rather than by “over 40”, but the greatest losses fall on people aged 55 to 74, and the warning signs are the same at any age.
How common are romance scams in the UK?
UK Finance’s 2026 fraud report says both the number of cases and the money lost in 2025 were the highest it has ever reported, and the police saw reports rise by 29 per cent. The two organisations count in different ways, so their figures are set out separately here rather than added together.
| Reports to Report Fraud | 2025 |
|---|---|
| Reports of romance fraud | 10,784, up 29 per cent on 2024 |
| Total reported stolen | More than 102 million pounds |
| Average per victim | About 9,500 pounds |
| Every day | Almost 280,000 pounds |
| Highest single loss | As high as a million pounds in some cases |
| Counted by UK Finance | 2025 |
|---|---|
| Cases | 6,335, against 5,210 in 2024 |
| Value | 39.2 million pounds, against 31.8 million in 2024 |
| Payments per scam | 9.7 on average |
| Returned to victims | 67 per cent of losses |
Cases have now risen for five years running, according to UK Finance. The police add that romance fraud remains closely linked to online platforms, particularly social media and dating sites, where offenders can easily create convincing false profiles.
Who loses the most money?
The police analysis of the 2025 reports found that people aged 55 to 74 accounted for almost half of the total value reported. Men sent in more reports than women, and women’s reported losses still made up just over 40 per cent of the total value.
Anyone can be targeted, though. Which? reported in February 2025 that men aged 20 to 29 had made the most reports to Action Fraud in 2024, followed by women aged 50 to 59. Action Fraud has since become Report Fraud. Which? has also warned that scammers approach vulnerable people on charity Facebook pages for those discussing mental health, bereavement and ageing.
Why these figures are only part of the picture
Both count only what was reported. When Which? compared the two for 2023, UK Finance’s figure came to 36.5 million pounds across 4,160 cases, and Action Fraud’s to 88.3 million pounds across 8,608 cases. Which? said the gap suggests that many victims are too ashamed to tell their banks, or don’t have faith that they will get their money back.
The police believe part of the 2025 rise reflects increased awareness and confidence in reporting, so some of it may simply be more people speaking up.
How does a romance scam work?
Most follow a pattern, and knowing it helps. This is the one UK Finance, the police and the government’s fraud campaign describe.
- A profile appears. Fraudsters use fake profiles to start a relationship. The police say offenders can easily create convincing ones, and that investigators are seeing more pictures and messages produced by software to support a false identity.
- Trust builds slowly. UK Finance says they try to develop the relationship over a longer period. The government’s National Campaign Against Fraud adds that they build rapport and look for shared interests before asking for money or personal information.
- A problem arrives. Once trust is established, the criminal claims to be in difficulty, such as an issue with a visa, health problems or flight tickets, and asks for money to help.
- The requests keep coming. UK Finance counted 9.7 payments on average per romance scam, the highest of the eight scam types it reports. It says this shows criminals building up trust over time, usually starting with smaller amounts.
- An investment tip appears. The police say romance fraud is often linked with fake investment opportunities, cryptocurrency included, in what they call hybrid frauds that increase the financial risk to victims.
What are the warning signs?
Eight signs turn up again and again in advice from the City of London Police, Age UK and Which? One on its own deserves a pause. Several together deserve a stop.
Love arrives within days
They declare strong feelings after only a couple of days or weeks of talking. The police list relationships that develop very quickly as a warning sign, and Age UK gives the same example.
Enjoy the attention if you like, but let the friendship catch up with the words.
They want to leave the dating site
Age UK warns about someone who quickly suggests email, text or phone instead of the site where you met, and Which? lists switching platforms among its seven signs.
The Suzy Lamplugh Trust advises keeping conversations on the dating site’s own channels rather than moving to personal ones.
They never meet and never show their face
The police list excuses not to meet in person or to avoid live video calls. Which? adds that promising to meet and then cancelling is a sign too, and Age UK says someone who avoids showing you their face may not be who they claim.
Suggest a coffee somewhere public, or a short video call, and notice the answer. A call proves nothing alone, as the next section explains.
They ask for money, gift cards or crypto
The government’s fraud campaign says to be wary of anyone who asks for a direct transfer of cash or cryptocurrency, wants you to send gift cards, or wants money before you have met in person. Which? also counts a request to use your bank account.
Age UK’s advice isn’t to send money to someone you have never met in person, whatever the reason or however long you have been talking.
They ask you to keep it quiet
Age UK warns about anyone who asks you to keep the relationship secret or tries to isolate you from friends and family. The police add that you may feel unable, or unwilling, to talk about it with them.
The police advise speaking to a trusted friend or family member if you’re thinking of sending money.
Their story does not add up
Their account doesn’t hold together, or you can find no trace of them online. Age UK lists both signs. UK Finance gives a visa problem, health issues and flight tickets as typical crises, and the police add medical emergencies and travel costs.
Keep a note of what you’re told, and see whether it stays the same.
They mention an investment
The police say romance fraud is often linked with fake investment opportunities, cryptocurrency included. Police Scotland warns of people who target you with investment fraud or crypto scams.
Treat an investment tip from someone you met online as a reason to stop and talk to someone you trust.
They resent your caution
The police list a person who dislikes you protecting yourself from fraud as a warning sign, and suggest telling them plainly that you’re fraud aware and will be protecting yourself.
If they sulk, push or change the subject, take that as your answer.
Can a video call prove who someone is?
Asking for one is sensible, and the police list excuses to avoid live video calls as a warning sign. But a call isn’t proof. Which? warns that even a face-to-face video call can be faked, by stealing video clips from someone else’s social media profile. It quotes a security specialist at F-Secure saying that video calls and images can no longer be trusted as a way to confirm someone’s identity online, because they can easily be faked.
So treat a call as one check among several, never the last word. And a call changes nothing about a request for money. If the person on screen asks for it, the request is the problem, whoever is on camera.
What can you check before you trust someone?
- Search their photos
- Upload a picture to a reverse image search tool, such as Google or TinEye, to see whether it has been posted elsewhere online. The police advise doing this with profile photos and any others you’re sent. Which? points out that these tools won’t catch every fake, so keep looking for other red flags.
- Search their name
- Age UK’s catfishing advice, updated in April 2026, suggests searching for their name, their profile pictures or any phrases they keep repeating, along with the words “dating scam”. Finding no trace of them online is itself a warning sign.
- Say you’re careful
- Tell them you’re fraud aware and will be protecting yourself, as the police suggest. Someone with good intentions will understand.
- Suggest a local coffee
- If someone says they live nearby, a coffee in a public place is an easy test. Each profile on Sage Dating names a nearest town or city, which tells you how close they claim to be, and our page on mature dating near me explains how distance works.
- Hold back your details
- Age UK suggests not sharing too much, such as your full name, date of birth or bank details. The Suzy Lamplugh Trust, in online safety advice it updated in September 2026, adds your address, telephone number and workplace, recommends a username that doesn’t reveal too much about you, and says to switch off location tags on your phone before sending pictures.
- Take a moment
- Take Five to Stop Fraud, the UK Finance campaign, boils the advice down to stop, challenge and protect. It says it’s fine to reject, refuse or ignore any request, and that only criminals will try to rush or panic you.
Scammers work on social media and dating sites alike, so these habits apply wherever you meet someone. Before you join any dating service, spend a few minutes on its terms and how it handles complaints. Our guide to whether Sage Dating is legit shows what to look for, and our safety advice covers the controls you have on the site, from blocking to reporting.
What should you do if you have been scammed?
Act in this order, and don’t wait until you’re certain. Being fairly sure is reason enough.
Straight away
- Stop sending money. Don’t answer demands for more, however urgent they sound. Take Five’s advice is that only criminals will try to rush or panic you.
- Ring your bank. Tell your bank or payment provider as soon as possible, using a number you can trust, such as the one on the back of your card or on its website, or call 159. UK Finance reports that 67 per cent of the money lost to romance scams was returned to victims in 2025. That’s an overall figure, not a promise to any one person.
- Report it to the police. Report Fraud is the national reporting centre for fraud and cyber crime. You can report online or phone 0300 123 2040, Monday to Friday, 8am to 8pm, according to Avon and Somerset Police. In Scotland, fraud is reported to Police Scotland on 101. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999. Report Fraud took over from Action Fraud in December 2025, so older articles still use the old name.
- Tell the site or app where you met. Age UK advises reporting the person there as well. On Sage Dating you can block a member and report a profile or a message from inside the site.
In the days after
These scams work by building trust, so being taken in says nothing about your intelligence. Report Fraud received 10,784 romance fraud reports in 2025, so you’re in large company, and Which? suggests that many other victims are too ashamed to tell their banks. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
- Age UK’s advice line is on 0800 678 1602, open 8am to 7pm every day of the year.
- Victim Support offers confidential help through its Supportline and live chat.
- Which? also suggests Mind for anyone who wants to talk through how they feel.
- A friend or relative you trust can help too. Telling someone is a hard step, and a good one.
Romance scams: your questions
How do I know if someone on a dating site is a scammer?
Look for the pattern rather than a single sign: love declared within days, pressure to leave the site, no meeting and no camera, a request for secrecy, a story that keeps shifting, and eventually talk of money, gift cards, cryptocurrency or an investment. One sign deserves a pause, and several together deserve a stop.
How common are romance scams in the UK?
The police figures published in May 2026 show 10,784 reports of romance fraud in 2025, up 29 per cent on 2024, with more than 102 million pounds stolen. UK Finance’s 2026 fraud report counts 6,335 cases worth 39.2 million pounds, both the highest it has ever reported.
Can a scammer fake a video call?
Yes. Which? warns that a video call can be faked with clips stolen from someone else’s social media profile, and a security specialist it quotes says video calls and images can no longer be trusted to confirm someone’s identity. Ask for a call, but never treat one as proof.
What should I do if I have sent money to someone I met online?
Contact your bank or payment provider as soon as possible, using a number you trust or by calling 159. Then report the fraud to Report Fraud online or on 0300 123 2040, or to Police Scotland on 101 if you live in Scotland, and report the person to the dating site or app where you met.
Will I get my money back after a romance scam?
Nobody can promise it, and every case is different. UK Finance reports that 67 per cent of the money lost to romance scams was returned to victims in 2025, which is one more reason to tell your bank early.
Who can I talk to if I feel ashamed or upset?
Age UK’s advice line (0800 678 1602) is open 8am to 7pm every day. Victim Support offers confidential support through its Supportline and live chat, and Which? suggests Mind as well. Talking to a friend or relative you trust is a good step too.
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